I don’t know what it was.
Some people would describe it as a present from the Gods above; some people will call it a devil in disguise.
There’s many ways to describe love, but ‘happy’ wasn’t one of them.
If someone actually uses the word ‘happy’ to describe love, you know that they are the lucky ones because true love only comes once in a lifetime and if you miss that chance, ‘happy’ wouldn’t be in your vocabulary.
Pain, suffering, empty, sadness, miserable are really a few words that explains the term ‘love’.
Love is a beautiful thing when you see it with your own eyes, but when you finally have a chance to feel it for yourself, you know that you need to work hard to make it stay that way; and by that way, I mean to make it stay in its purest and sweetest form.
One of the purest and sweetest form of love is none other than - literally once in a lifetime - first love.
Usually during someone’s teenage years, first love will always bloom between them and someone special who somehow came unexpectedly into their lives. They would always meet at a time and at a place. Everyone hopes that it would be at the right time, at the right place and naturally, with the right person.
First love is connected to two paths; one being the ‘everlasting’ path and the other one is the ‘not-so-everlasting’ path.
I bet the ‘not-so-everlasting’ path be like, “Last time I checked, you weren’t an Energizer battery” and then people will say, “Well let me use an Energizer battery to light up the fire that burns brightly between me and my girlfriend/boyfriend and hope for the best that our relationship wouldn’t go down the drain aka will be everlasting.”
Okay, back to the point.
Everyone hopes that they will grow old with their first love because who wouldn’t want to spend the rest of there lives with the person who ignited the first fire in their hearts?
You will think that they are the one but sometimes, it doesn’t work that way. He or she could be the one or they may not. Eventually, someone in the relationship is going to make the other one upset and it all depends whether one wants to put their ego aside and make the first move or make everything worse by keep fighting and at the end, making them go through the ‘not-so-everlasting’ path. Like I’ve said before, both parties in the relationship must work hard to make their love as pure and as sweet as the first time when the fire in them sparked.
Everyone tries their best to make their relationship work but what if one of you just fall out of love?
Do you tell them to stay?
Do you ask them to try again?
Or do you just give up?
Some people just let the person go because they knew that their heart wasn’t theirs from the start. Or maybe they just think that there are many fishes in the sea.
But one way or another, you knew that you kept trying and trying until one day, you just snapped and realise that they want to be with someone else. You just gotta take in the fact that they want their happily ever after to be with someone else.
As a saying goes: ‘if you love something, set it free; if it comes back to you, that means it’s yours from the start’.
The quote actually makes sense now, doesn’t it?
In another situation, what if one of you made a terrible -and I mean very, very horrible- mistake that broke your or maybe his/her heart?
Do you forgive them after they told you about it?
Do you pack your bags and leave?
Or do you just take a knife out of your pocket and shove it inside their trachea, heart, head or anywhere that you please?
The last one seems a little too aggressive. But if you want to do it then go ahead; I won’t call the cops or bring you to court unless you killed one of my family members, of course.
Anyway, if you were in the above mentioned situations, what will you do?
I couldn’t tell you what I did though. The only thing that I could only tell you is that I stood strong, or at least I tried to. I couldn’t say that I didn’t cry a few times.
But the good part of it all is that I discover a little more of myself in this journey that we call life.
Last year, I was only a girl with a wish to meet a new friend who would change my perspective on things. I just wanted to have someone to talk to every single day and not get bored because I knew that I have his companion. I had a feeling that next year was going to be different.
I thought that next year is just going to be another year of high school. Most of the thoughts that fills my head is that after 2 years, I can drive a car and leave this hell hole. I thought that I had everything planned out - pass my exams, get my license, graduate high school, go to college or uni, become a successful person and meet the love of my life.
I thought I could write my very own happy ending.
But life always has it twisted way now, doesn’t it?
This year, I met him but I didn’t actually realise that I met my one and only. Never have I thought that he would be the one to fill the hole in my heart. His face was always popping out in my head like a beautiful masterpiece and the sound of his voice was stuck in my head like a catchy song.
Somehow, all of those romance movies that I’ve watched becomes a reality. Cliches are seen everywhere but for me, they are my reality. Sometimes I wonder if I would change anything from the past and maybe regret some of the choices I made.
But then I take a look in the mirror and smile because I knew good or bad, every choice that I choose made memories.
I knew that this year was going to be different, but I didn’t know that it was going to be transformed completely.
If I knew that he was going to make this much of an impact to my life just because I fell for him, I would have worn anti-feelings clothes everyday.