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Keeper of the Spatula

By LizzS

Adventure / Humor

Chapter 6: Sting of Death

A couple hours later, everyone was fast asleep around the campfire. Mr. Krabs resting on the ground with his cash register in his arms as drool leaked from his mouth, Patrick was snoring loudly with his head resting on a large rock, and Squidward was laying on his travel pack while curled up in a fetal position with a purple sleep blinder over his eyes.

But soon the cephalopod was interrupted by someone poking his head. “Squidward…” a small quiet voice whispered.

Squidward’s face scrunched up in his sleep as he groaned, but he proceeded to sleep soundly until the yellow hand began to poke his nose this time to wake him up.

It was SpongeBob as he whispered a bit louder, “Squidward…”

Squidward groaned again as he reluctantly responded, “…What is it, SpongeBob?” though it was uncertain if he were awake or not due to the blinder covering his eyes

“Squidward?” SpongeBob whispered quietly in his ear, “Do you know where the bathroom is?”

“Ugh…what?” Squidward groaned again with an annoyed tone as he pulled up his blinder to show his sleeping face.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” SpongeBob whispered again in his ear.

“SpongeBob…” Squidward responded with annoyance as he kept his eyes shut in order to sleep. “We’re in the middle of the woods, far away from any sign of civilization. There is no bathroom.”

SpongeBob blinked a few times in confusion, and then whispered back, “But I really have to go.”

Squidward yawned and lowered his blinder before moving onto his side and responding, “Just go in a bush…far away from here as possible.”

SpongeBob seemed confused by the idea, but ultimately just shrugged and smiled as he replied, “Okay.”

Then he walked away, leaving Squidward to return to his beauty sleep.


SpongeBob walked through the dark woods, looking for a good place to do his business. He soon stopped in front a large bush next to a couple of trees. “Okay…how is this done again?”

As SpongeBob racked his brain for all the movies and shows he’s seen with campers and hikers who didn’t have a porta potty nearby, he failed to notice something moving in the bushes behind him.

“Oh yeah,” he said in realization, snapping his fingers with a smile.

When he stood directly in front of the bush and unzipped his fly, he turned his head around to see the bushes behind him rustling. He pulled his zipper back up and turned around to see what it was.

“Umm…” he started saying nervously, “This place is kinda taken, so maybe you should…”

But then, a loud buzzing sound was heard behind it, and the bushes spread apart as something floated through them. SpongeBob’s eyes widen to see a large jellyfish (twice the size of a regular jellyfish) that was black with red spots on top.

“I don’t believe it.” SpongeBob whispered in awe. “It’s Black Toxicity!”

As the jellyfish floated there in front of him, SpongeBob attempted to approach it. “Hello, majestic, foreign jellyfish of the wild.” He greeted with a smile. “My name is SpongeBob. Would you like to meet my friend, Patrick, so we can get a picture of you for our bingo book?”

But as the jellyfish floated there, buzzing, it finally acknowledged SpongeBob, and lifted up its stinger. This causes SpongeBob to get a panicked look on his face.

“No, wait, Great One! I just-” but before he could try and explain, the jellyfish unleashes a zap from its stinger, and SpongeBob ducks just in time to avoid it.

The jellyfish then let out another blast with its stinger, which SpongeBob tried to avoid. “Stop! Don’t-” he pleaded with the jellyfish, but it kept attempting to sting him.

With no other option, SpongeBob began to run away as fast as he can through the bushes and trees. But this did not stop the jellyfish from chasing after him.


Back at the campsite, SpongeBob’s voice was heard from the woods, “RUN! RUN AWAY!”

This caused everyone to wake up, feeling groggy as they sat up.

“Lemme guess…” Squidward groaned angrily as he took off his sleep blinder. “Poison Ivy?”

Then SpongeBob ran from the woods with a panicked look on his face. “Quick, we gotta get out of here!” he screamed, “There’s a-” but before he could finish, the jellyfish emerged from the forest with the tips of its stingers lighting up.

Squidward and Mr. Krabs both scream, but Patrick just stared at the jellyfish. “Wow…” he said in awe. “The Black Toxicity. SpongeBob, do you have the book?”

However, SpongeBob just ran away as the jellyfish chased after him. Patrick just stood there and watched as he shouted, “Don’t worry! I’ll get the camera!”

Mr. Krabs picked up the cash register as he attempted to run somewhere safe in the campsite to avoid the jellyfish. Squidward screamed in horror as the jellyfish began to chase after him.

“Nice work, idiot!” Squidward yelled at SpongeBob as they both ran from the jellyfish. “You brought it right to us!”

“Well, where else was I supposed to go?” SpongeBob asked as he ran.

“As far away from here would’ve been nice!”

While they were all running around the campsite, screaming as the jellyfish chased them; Patrick searched SpongeBob’s knapsack until he found his camera. “Found it!” Patrick announced with a smile.

When the jellyfish attempted to sting SpongeBob, the sponge quickly dodge rolled out of the way with the stinger hitting the ground.

But he heard Squidward scream, and he turned to see Squidward cornered by the edge of the cliff with the jellyfish’s stingers sparking. SpongeBob gasped and quickly rushed in-between the jellyfish and Squidward.

“No!” SpongeBob yelled as he shielded Squidward. “I won’t let you!”

Patrick aimed his camera at SpongeBob, Squidward, and the jellyfish. He looked through the peephole and prepared to take a snapshot, completely oblivious to the danger he was looking at.

“Can you get a little closer, SpongeBob?” Patrick instructed as he tried to hold the camera straight.

The jellyfish held up its stinger while SpongeBob took out his golden spatula to defend himself. As he held up his spatula, it oddly started to vibrate in his hand, causing his arm to shake.

“Hoagie…” SpongeBob asked nervously. “What’s going on? We have to help our friends.”

Then it started to glow green, causing SpongeBob’s arm to jerk to the right, away from the jellyfish. Patrick still held his camera and said, “Okay, smile!”

However, with SpongeBob momentarily distracted by the spatula’s odd behavior, the jellyfish immediately stung SpongeBob in the chest, causing him to scream in pain. A flash of light was seen from Patrick’s camera after he took a photograph. “I got it!” he proudly shouted.

SpongeBob held the wound on his chest as he and Squidward both shivered in terror as the jellyfish drew closer to them, attempting to sting them both this time.

But then, a red claw pulled out a piece of wood from the campfire and Mr. Krabs held it up as he shouted, “Argh! Get back, you monster! Back I say!”

He ran after the jellyfish while swinging the torch at it, chasing it away from SpongeBob and Squidward, and using the flames to force it to fly back into the woods, leaving them alone at last.

Mr. Krabs chuckled as he tossed the torch away. “Well, that was easy. You boys are lucky to have me around. Thanks to me…Cashie is safe from harm.”

“SpongeBob!” Patrick’s voice cried out.

Mr. Krabs’s smile dropped as he turned around and saw SpongeBob had fallen to the ground with Patrick and Squidward surrounding him in concern. “Uh oh.” He muttered as he walked over to them.

SpongeBob was lying on the ground, gasping for breath with a pained look on his face as he held his chest. “What’s going on?” Mr. Krabs asked SpongeBob, “What’s happening to you, lad?”

“Mr. Krabs…can’t feel…arms…legs…eyeballs.” SpongeBob stammered, panting rapidly as his body started to sweat and cringe.

“He got stung by that jellyfish.” Squidward explained to his boss.

“But that jellyfish was poisonous!” Mr. Krabs remembered in panic. “That means he’s only got about twenty minutes left to live.”

“Quick!” Squidward shouted franticly. “We gotta take him to a hospital!”

“We’d never get back through these woods before we’re outta time.” Mr. Krabs pointed out.

SpongeBob started to screech in agony and sob as the poison of Black Toxicity Jellyfish continued to take its effect. Patrick pats his suffering friend’s head to give him comfort, “Hang in there, buddy. We’ll think of something before your twenty minutes are up.”

Suddenly, there was a bright light from in the forest that blew the campfire out. “Mornin’ already?” Mr. Krabs thought.

But from in the white light, a figure was seen coming into view. When the three’s eyes adjusted to the light, they saw it was a mermaid with long blonde hair, green eyes, a blue tail and blue bra, riding a chariot being pulled by a seahorse.

Once he saw this, Patrick stood up and walked over to her with a blank look on his face. Squidward stared in confusion as he sat next to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs. “What’s…going on here?” the octopus asked.

As Patrick stood in front of the mermaid, she crossed her arms and spoke in a language neither Squidward nor Mr. Krabs could understand. “Ha shor zu? Kweh shor zu naga ret?” (Who are you? What are you doing here?)

“Isn’t that Mernish?” Squidward recognized. “Some ancient forgotten language made up by mermaids a long time ago?”

“Well, I have no clue what she’s telling us.” Mr. Krabs pointed out.

Then to their surprise, Patrick responded in the same language, “Na mam Patrick Star. Ke and Ka capanas hall Bikini Bottom.” (I am Patrick Star. Me and my friends come from Bikini Bottom.)

“Patrick?” the mermaid repeated until she smiled. “Na phean nata sefrew zu. Na mam Clarice.” (I almost did not recognize you. I am Clarice.)

Squidward and Mr. Krabs stared at this agape. “I ain’t the only one seein’ this, right?” Mr. Krabs asked with his jaw hanging out.

“Kweh brog zu evry zeh otta ret hall Bikini Bottom?” (What brings you all the way out here from Bikini Bottom?) Clarice asked.

“Us arred ret aggo a hazarad addove go zeh, duuuun…brrold seean togen pyrtin. But…” (We come here on a perilous journey to the, uhhh…cold ocean with volcano. However…) Patrick pointed to the moaning and groaning SpongeBob on the ground. “Ka capanas, SpongeBob, enufgas zeh boanad frot zeh Black Toxicity.” (My friend, SpongeBob, suffers the sting of the Black Toxicity.)

Clarice went over to a teary-eyed SpongeBob, and saw that the poison had puffed up some of his body. Mostly his cheeks were swollen, making it impossible for him to speak clearly (or possibly breathe correctly), so all he could do was moan at the sight of the mermaid above him.

“Zeh tonoxit frot zeh jellyfish hazarad him benif.” (The poison of the jellyfish endangers his life.) Clarice explained as she stroked the sponge’s forehead. “Him shudtov teb brotof go inative hetilave conatinin.” (He must be taken to immediate medical attention.)

“Kweh cana frot conatinin do SpongeBob desirt hall hetilave?” (What kind of attention does SpongeBob want from Medical?) Patrick asked with a confused look.

Clarice picked up SpongeBob and carried him over to her chariot. “Na shal brit him go ka dwellsa top remeldic. Sha na rapshid, na mat arrto prevana ito goo tarate.” (I will take him to my home for treatment. If I hurry, I can make it before it’s too late.)

When Clarice went into her chariot and placed SpongeBob inside, she grabbed the reigns and was about to take off.

“Hey! Wait a minute!” Mr. Krabs shouted as he ran over to her. “How are the rest of us supposed to get to wherever it is you’re going?”

Clarice just turned her head toward them with a smile and answered, “I’ll send my people to come and get you as soon as I can.”

Mr. Krabs and Squidward both widen their eyes in shock while Clarice gave the reigns a flick and rode off into the forest.

Patrick smiled and waved as he said in Mernish, “Seyacana!” (Bye bye!) with a chuckle while Squidward and Mr. Krabs stood behind him, staring dumbfounded.


In the woods, Clarice rode the chariot at fast speed with SpongeBob sitting next to her as he suffered from the poison. His swollen eyelids were hanging halfway with his entire body puffing up also as he gave a quiet moan, unable to cry anymore.

As Clarice drove her chariot through the forest, she turned her head and noticed the black-cloaked figure was now following her on his seahorse. She gasped and gave her reigns another flick for her seahorse to go faster.

But the figure continued to pursue them, riding just as fast as she was to catch up with them. The cloaked figure managed to ride right next to her and extend his hand toward SpongeBob, but the sponge just sat there in the chariot while his body was still swelling up, making it harder to keep his eyes open.

This made Clarice growl angrily and she pulled her reigns hard to the right, making her chariot push him away from them, causing the cloaked figure to fall behind on his seahorse.

Clarice continued to drive through the forest until she approached a river. She flicked the reigns harder and shouted as her seahorse crossed the river and pulled the chariot to the other side. SpongeBob gave a tiny quiet moan as his body began to turn bright pink from the swelling.

She stopped the chariot and looked behind her to see the cloaked figure approach the river and spot them on the other side. Clarice got off of her chariot and approached the river.

“If you want the boy, you will have to come and get him!” she shouted challengingly.

The cloaked figure pulled his reigns, causing the seahorse to whinny loudly and attempt to cross the river. But as soon as he made it halfway through, Clarice began to sing a really high note and make the water in the river shake violently. The figure stopped his seahorse, and turned toward the beginning of the river to see a huge wave of water coming toward him. His eyes widen under his hood and the water splashed over him, presumably washing him away.

Clarice stopped singing and grinned in satisfaction. But then she turned around and gasped to see SpongeBob fall out of the chariot and land on the ground with his entire body now pink and swollen with his eyelids about to shut.

She rushed over and placed her hands on him. “No, SpongeBob! Don’t go!” she pleaded loudly. “Please hang in there!”

But suddenly, a green fin with a black sleeve emerged from the river, and Clarice gasped in shock to see the cloaked figure climb out of the river. He stumbled onto land with his cloak soaking wet.

“No…” he hissed loudly until he placed his hands on his hood and removed it to reveal he was a green middle-aged fish. “My favorite coat is ruined!” he yelled in an annoyed voice.

“What is this?” Clarice asked as she stared in confusion.

“I’m Ranger Dave Gilligan.” The fish explained, showing her a gold forest ranger badge from out of his cloak. “I spent all day yesterday trying to catch that guy and his little traveling party.”

Clarice crossed her arms in disbelief. “Explain yourself.” She demanded.

“All I had been trying to do was warn them about these woods where the Black Toxicity Jellyfish reside.” Ranger Dave explained. “It’s Mating Season, which makes them very aggressive and all the more dangerous to approach. But did they listen? No! All they did was act like maniacs and run away. I mean what did they think I was gonna do? And one of them smells terribly which didn’t help my cold.” He sniffled (similar to what he did when he was first encountered) and then coughed before he spoke in a raspy voice again, “And that water didn’t help my laryngitis.”

“Okay, okay.” Clarice interrupted him. “Right now I just need a way to help SpongeBob. I still have to get him to my home for medical attention.”

Ranger Dave coughed again before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic bottle. “Here,” he said, holding out the bottle, “Rub some of this ointment on the kid’s body. It’ll bring down some of the swelling and keep him alive for a bit longer until he gets the proper treatment.”

Clarice took the bottle of ointment, and Ranger Dave began to walk away as he added, “If I were you, I’d put it on ASAP. By the looks of it, he only has less than two minutes left to live.” He reached into the river and pulled out his seahorse, which looked just fine, and he got on and rode off.

Clarice turned her attention back to SpongeBob, who looked just like his life was about to end as his swollen eyelids were about to shut.

“Hold on, SpongeBob.” Clarice said as she squeezed some ointment onto her hand and rubbed it over SpongeBob’s swollen body. “It’ll all be okay.”

As she rubbed some more ointment over him, SpongeBob stared off into the bright early morning sky above the woodland trees until his vision grew dark and his pink puffy eyelids close softly.


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