I thought that the introduction to this was relly well written and structurally sound in its presentation.
The introduction to the cabin in the woods was good too. To me, it felt like a Blair Witch of yesteryear, but the things which you added in about the mutilated boys were certainly something new and shows that you have a good imagination.
Camp Muscogee was a really good name - again good use of the imagination. The game of ripping off a piece of the wall was creepy cool.
This has certainly got my interest.
This is good!
I really liked the build up which you penned. Stories like this will always be creepy, there's always something about dolls that freak me out. It had good tension to it and you worked it at a perfect pace. It felt like a good opener for a movie, which is no mean feat. Good work.
From what I have read so far, I really loved this tale with you have spun. All things dark will always get my attention and this was one of those pieces which I was able to get my teeth into. What else made it work was the way in which you put pen to paper and the words flowed with ease. I have to say that this was a wickedly delicious to have read and I do hope that you post more.
I really liked the way in which you opened the piece. It had me asking the questions - who was chasing this person and why, The 3rd paragraph gave a glimpse of things to come and was well written, and from thereon in, it only got better. I put my mind's eye in the vision Allison must have been having and it was quite a scary place to be. My only wish is that the chapter would have gone on for longer. Please do inform me of when you post more, I would love to read it.
A title which grabbed my attention!
First of all, I really like the way in which you described the cell phone -very nicely done. The way in which your presented this piece was very clean and easy to understand. It had a 'when a stranger calls' feel to it and in my books in no bad thing. I liked the DVD with the pentagram carved onto it - that would for sure creep anybody out, but it also shows a good use of imagination. I won't spoil it for the readers, but the way in which you ended it was brilliant. Thank you for sharing this piece.
The summary was a great hook for me to start reading this., and combined with an opening scene which will always grab my attention; this was a great find. It reminded me a bit of the hitchhiker movies. There was a good build-up towards the end and it has only made me want more. I do hope you post more soon and thank you for sharing this piece.
I really like how you set out your stall with the really well-written prologue. The piece had quite a bit of menace to it, almost verging on a rather polite side of things. It had a creepy coolness to it when the letter spoke of weekly updates - deliciously dark. A very well put together introduction, to what I believe will turn out to be a killer of a story. I shall be reading more for certain.
A good introduction to Sarah and Phillip. There were only a few grammatical errors in this piece, but it didn't spoil the way in which this piece moved along. It flowed effortlessly from one paragraph to the next. The game bit, even though brief was good and I enjoyed reading about it. But I do want to continue reading this as I want to know more about the beautiful blonde man. In another way, it is good that you left it like that, as isn't that what all authors are about - wanting to become page turners.
Thanks for sharing.
I wonder what will come next
So, anything with a haunted house in a story will always grab my attention. I really like how you have ended his piece: leaving it on a cliffhanger of an ending - making the reader want more. A pageturner this most certainly can be....I only hope you upload soon. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!
Short but yet intriguing
So, even though it was a short read, I have to say; I do wonder if you will follow this piece up with anything else. I do believe that this could go any number of ways and will be intrigued to see if you do continue. It was well written and easy to follow. Your grammar is good and this short story can only grow for sure.
I didn't realise that digging up a grave could be so intense and exciting to read. The way in which you entice the reader to want to keep on reading is really well executed and a pleasure to read. This piece flowed and I couldn't find any grammatical errors which stopped the ease of the read. I can see the effort which you have put into this piece and I respect the time which you have put into it. Thank you for sharing this piece and I shall continue to read more of your work.
A very very good read
When I started to read this, I could see that a lot of thought had gone into it. The writing style is the type that I enjoy reading. The story has a good structure to it and grammar wise; it is solid.
Descriptions were good, to the point that my mind's eye could clearly see what you were painting with your words. The SUV in the first chapter: I loved how you portrayed it as a bully of the road - great imagination. It takes skill to do something like that and I applaud you for penning such a thing.
Gripping read. Thank you for sharing this.
Great opening chapter!
I really hope you write more of 'the hunter' It really felt like such a tense and fantastic opener of a what I believe will turn out to be a great story. The opening which you have penned will always grab me by the throat and beg for my eyes to read more of what the writer has written. The tension was just right and proportionally matched the size of the chapter. I am fascinated to find out more, please do inform me when you post up more. I need to read it!!!!
The introduction to Jonathon and the school of Saint Jeffe was really well done. It had me gripped from the word go. When he talked through the lens, it felt a bit like Blair Witch style, which I so happen to love that movie. Jonathon's race through the school was good too, and because of your descriptives, it was wickedly delicious to read where his journey took him. I was not disappointed by this chapter - I really want to read more!!
From what I have read, this had me hooked straight away; and that's always a hard thing to do. To get a reader wanting more is a hard thing to do.The characters you have created were really well done. Your grammar, skill of structuring a story is clear to see. It shows you have put a lot of time and effort into making this piece come to life in the mind's eye. Really well written and I thank you so much for sharing.
A very good read!
I loved the blurb which you used to hook the reader into your work. Being a big fan of all things serial killer and ones in particular who are on the loose is always going to grab my attention. You gave away just enough detail of the killer to keep hold my interest, with doing this technique you will ensure that other readers will come back for more. Less is more and in this case, it certainly worked. Thank you for sharing, please do inform me when the next chapter of this piece is released; I would love to follow this story.
I really liked this piece. Your dialogue skills and the way in which you have presented this piece were really well polished. From the very beginning to the very end of this chapter I was second guessing as to where this piece was going to go. I really do hope you post up more soon, as I am keen to read more of your writing.
This piece of work was most certainly different to have read. But, nonetheless, I did enjoy reading it, The only thing was I wanted it to go on for longer. It was well structured and flowed just like a story should; making it easy on the eye and not having to struggle with understanding what was being said. A fascinating read, that's for sure. Peculiar and very different - Thank you for sharing, I do hope you post more.
A great talent.
From what I have read so far, this book is turning out to be a real gem of a find. Your writing skills really shine and I love the story so far. It had me totally engaged from the beginning and unfortunately for I had to go out whilst reading the piece. But what I have seen so far: You have a really well-structured story so far and that prologue was such a great introduction to this brilliant story of yours. Your grammar skills are superb and that's what made this story flow and was easy on the eye.
Thank you for sharing.
Having already had the pleasure to have read this book, I can honestly say that this is one worth reading.
It will have you following one of the characters with intent. The story is really solid and so worth my time to have followed. My personal favourite is Sunny. I like how she is so young but has such a mature head on her young shoulders. Tommy, Richie, Sketch to name but a few, are all gritty characters; as is the whole story. From beginning to end this story has many standout moments and I so hope to see this book on the shelves one day. as I want to know what happens next.
Certainly, worth the time to read through all the chapters, this story will not disappoint.
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